The adventures of the cow by Adam Sandler
Performed by Adam Sandler, Frank, and Randi
Transcribed by a fan
"And now a cow at bat in the bottom of the 6th inning of a little league game getting hit by a pitch"
[Baseball sounds and cow bell ringing,ball is hit and hits cow]
"And now a cow who goes skydiving for the very first time, and thinks his parachute isn't gonna open when it finnally does 40 feet from the ground"
M1: Alright cow, don't even think about just jump and enjoy the ride down, quit being a pansy and do it
"And now a cow who goes to the chicken hot drivethru and then gets halfway home before realising they forgot his french fries"
[Cow opening paper bag]
[Car screeches, and turns back around]
"And now a cow winning first prise in the bellyflop contest at spring break and then realises he can't swim"
[Cow walking towards pool, big splash]
"And now a club gets a dance at a classy strip club, when a bouncer notices he doesn't have any shoes on"
F1: Ohh baby you like it when I dance with you
F1: Uh uh uh, you can't touch that
Bouncer: Keep your hands off the girl
Bouncer: Hey cow, you got no shoes on you gotta leave
M2: Hey watch it cow
"And now a cow playing tennis against farmer Stinky Thumbs Arbuckle when the farmer makes an obvious bad call"
[Tennis ball being hit]
Farmer: That was out
Farmer: Don't tell me it wasn't cause I saw it and that was out
Farmer: By at least 3 feet that's how far, come in look there is still a mark where it's out
Farmer: Don't tell that was from an old ball, that was this ball and this ball was out
Farmer: You cannot see from that angle
"And now a cow recieves a phone call who he thinks is from a famous actor but he soon finds out it's just a practical joke"
[Phone rings, cow picks it up]
Farmer: Hello may I speak to the cow
Farmer: Hi, I'm a famous actor
Farmer: Oh, thank you very much, I was wondering if you would like to go to dinner with me
Farmer: Why don't I make reservations?
Farmer: And why don't I tell you my real name? farmer Stinky Thumbs Arbuckle
Farmer: Take that fatty
[Slams down phone]
"And now a cow gets his revenge on farmer Stinky Thumbs Arbuckle"
Farmer: Pull over, pull the vehicle to the side of the road, I am warning you for the last time.
[Car hits farmer]