Melancholy Moon (Not) by Tim Minchin
Whistles don't get lonesome, I guess no one told Hank
You never know that might have been the reason why he drank
What was Willie smokin' when he wrote Â“Hello Walls'
Where'd Bob find that cowtown? Did it really have big balls?
There's no regular combination on that Wabash Cannonball
And I've never known a telephone to ring right off the wall
Patsy didn't fall to pieces on a midnight walk alone
And Â“T' don't stand for Texas since Rose left San Antone
Highways don't get lonesome, you're not my sunshine
Memories don't linger in the hallways of my mind
I don't believe that Porter ever saw that Â“Rubber Room'
And I've neer seen a melancholy moon
Elvis hated hound dogs, so is it false or true
No one ever really saw him wearin' blue suede shoes
Was anybody watchin' when Johnny walked the line
And I wonder if it really was the last thing on his mind
If you're minin' coal you'll need more tonnage than sixteen
I can't recall a time when I've been faded as my jeans
You'd have to be a fossil to have a heart of stone
And after Â“Six Days On The Road', his baby wasn't home
Â“Blue Moon Of Kentucky' is more like yellow
And I've never seen a melancholy moon