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Bob Mould - Jingle Bells lyrics

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Jingle Bells by Bob Mould


[Bob Rivers:]
Yo, yo
[Girl as Dina Rae:]
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingling all the way
Oh what fun it is to ride
From Detroit to east L A
[Bob Rivers as Eminem:]
Is this a white Christmas hell no my man
I'm leaving blood in the snow and smacking fat men
You mean Santa, that boy's a bitch
He caught my mom Christmas Eve and tried to give her kiss
Fo' real he's no joke, that guy don't play
He tried to ride way more than a one-horse-sleigh
Laughing all the way, but he's not laughing today
We'll jingle more than his bells, even the elves with pay
COME CHRISTMAS EVE, OLD NICK'S A GONNER!
We'll be snacking on deer, EATIN' Blitzen and Donor
Not a question of when, not even a maybe
Have a drunk Mrs. Clause saying, "Jingling Baby!"
Give a new meaning to "ho, ho, ho"
Shake that ass girl, bump your booty in the snow
So watch out Santa, you jolly old troll
We'll be strippin' that sleigh and leave you the coal
[Girl as Dina Rae:]
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingling all the way
Oh what fun it is to ride in a drop top Chevrolet, hey
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingling all the way
Oh what fun it is to ride
From to Detroit to east L A
[Bob Rivers as Eminem:]
Playing reindeer games, hell yeah my friend
Grab Rudolph's horns, see how far they bend
When his nose turns red, his ass gets sent
Back out to the woods with his faggy elf Randall
Santa Claus wouldn't list me as nice
In fact, he'll have me listed as 'naughty' twice
Not cuz' of the fights, or the Christmas gift heist,
Because of the nog, I left on his wife
It's time for old nick to move and retire
Or we roast his nuts on a bigass fire
Yes I'm that bad, Yes, I'm that crude
I mean your ass is huge, lose weight, for real dude
All the cookies and milk, simply quite sick
I mean, when's the last time you've seen your dick
I don't mean to throw a fit and I'm not one to bitch
But every year I get underwear, socks, and shit
[Girl as Dina Rae:] (Bob Rivers as Eminem:)
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingling all the way
Oh what fun it is to ride in a drop top Chevrolet, hey
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingling all the way
Oh what fun it is to ride
From Detroit to East L A
(Yo)
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingling all the way
Oh what fun it is to ride in a drop top Chevrolet, hey
(Yo, yo)
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingling all the way
Oh what fun it is to ride
From Detroit to east L A



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