A letter to the patient's gp please, angela Lyrics |
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A letter to the patient's gp please, angela Lyricsby Adam Kay Buy album CD: Fitness To Practice Dear Dr Newland (new line) Re Mrs Connor (comma) We saw your patient Mrs Connor who presented in a coma And we think that what was wrong is a subdural haemotoma (comma) Her history's a mystery, her GCS was 9 And she was on ventilation, now she's stable (stop, new line) She had a broken neck of femur, broken neck and broken nose She's now in neck fixation (open brackets) brackets (brackets closed) We noticed her colostomy, her temporary nefrostomy We did a laparoscomy 'cause we thought that (apostrophe) 'd be necessary to elucidate any problems underlying (Underline, uh... "underlying", please, Angela) She had trouble with her colon 'cause they found a mass had grown on it However (semicolon) it turned out to be benign And yet they did a large resection from her flexure to her rectum That excision's a decision I don't understand (new line) She has dysdiadokokinesis (that's spelt d-y-s-d-i-a-d-o-k-o-k-i-n-e-s-i-s, comma) I should also really mention that she went into retention With a urinary infection and her leg stuck in extension (Correction, "flexion" - sorry, Angela) She has a cerebellar tremor (comma) possible rubella Dyspepsia, dyslexia and fractured left patella (comma) We learned that she was burned so bad she had to have a graft Now we're very happy how it looks (full stop, new paragraph) (Oh, Angela, can you add that she's on warfarin in case she has another mini-stroke... stroke, stroke) We organised an ECG and BCG quite recently Her TSH and FSH were not yet back today But her ESR and CRP should reassure us So we'll see her back here in my clinic Yours sincerely, Adam Kay
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