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What A Remarkable Age This Is! Lyrics

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What A Remarkable Age This Is!

 
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What A Remarkable Age This Is! ETCHES
My dear Mr. Latimer!
Prepare to greet out clientele
Our meeting is imminent
Our having just rung the dinner bell
It won't be a novelty
We mostly have seen them all before...

Prepare for the usual
You should be aware of what's in store...
We've served them on the Baltic
And the Oceanic,
Olympic and Majestic
And today's the same
There's nothing changed...

Mr. Astor takes his toast dry
Mrs. Straus likes the grouse
With the sauce on the side
And the Wideners love Kidney pie
Bring it hot, if it's not
They'll be fit to be tied
They're accustomed to the best
Of all that money buys
The world of free enterprise
Has given this privilege to the rich...

When they're idle
They're entitled to the luxury
Which we provide
That's forever the source of out pride...
Which is why we're always there
With our especial form of care
For evey hungry millionaire
By now they've all arrived...

MALE 1ST CLASS PASSENGERS
We're sailing aboard the greatest ship
To ever sail the seas
The hull and the keel imperviously
Stronger by degrees

FEMAL 1ST CLASS PASSENGERS
Magnificent crystal chandeliers
Parquet in all the floors

ALL
The ceiling is Jacobean
A decor the world adores

Remarkable ship
Oh what a ship!
Remarkable keel
Oh what a keel!
Remarkable steel
Oh what a ship!

If it could be out in a phrase... it's
"What a remarkable age this is!"

MALE 1ST CLASS PASSENGERS
A fellow's invented see-through film
He calls it "cellophane!"

ALL
Another has built a parachute
For jumping out of an airplane!

Remarkable things flow endlessly
From out the human brain!
Indeed
And what a remarkable age this is!

ETCHES
Keep the Captain's table pristine
Where wer seat the elite whom we happily serve
Here they dine on fine French cuisine
It's the Creme de la Creme's
Exclusive preserve!

It's the pleasure of the leisure class's greatest wits
To be where the Captain sits
When taking their dinner on the sea
Giving deference to their preferences is our greatest art!
We play a part
In a perfectly worling machine

You should ever be aware
This is a privilege great and rare
A special burden that we bear
In our respective lives!

MILLIONAIRES
Remarkable! U.S. Steel
Is splitting shares a five to four!
Monopoly makes the industry
Far better than before!

MILLIONAIRES WIVES
Attending the coronation of
King George the Fifth was grand

ETCHES
And afterwards it's off to Monaco
To frolic in the sand

ALL
Remarkable talk
Oh what a talk!
Remarkable times
Oh what a time!
Remarkable world
Oh what a world!

So much to surprise and amaze...
And...

MILLIONIARES & WIVES
What a remarkable time
What a remarkable world
What a remarkable age...

ETCHES & STAFF
The hull and the keel
Impervious
Magnificent crystal
Chandeliers
A fellow's invented see-
Through film
And what a remarkable
Age...
ALL
This...
Is!
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