Calm

Calm Lyrics

Calm Song Lyrics

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So
I am on the 6th train heading uptown to my lit. professors office
It’s like light years off of campus
don’t ask me why
I’m sandwiched in-between this guy who’s literally drooling
And some European hipster who, well lets be honest, smells.

Woody Allen heard Gershwin in the air when he thought Manhattan
Well I’m not so impressed , I hear like Philip Glass at best
I spend all my time just trying to get
calm
But it’s not working

'Cause like, clearly, I'm a magnet for a special breed of psycho
Who think being weird's a valuable use of time
And my notebook likes to wander on its own across the city
Taking with it my whole thesis, which I need to write, like, now.
I don’t remember the Muppets getting hives
When they took Manhattan
But my own diagnosis says I’m creeping toward psychosis
Cause I cannot find a place to get
Calm
It’s really hard you know

I tried to take up yoga
But you’ll be surprised how many folks don’t think deodorant is Zen
I even saw a life coach who told me I should breathe
Just breathe
But every time I took in a breathe
I visualized that life coach’s death
She’s having brunch at cafÈ Pierre
And she’s choking
And choking
And choking
And finally she’s calm

I’m sorry
Anyway, I get to my profesor's and he sits me down and tells me
That my thesis on Virginia Woolf feels somehow false
I tell him what I’m working from is not so much a thesis
But the fact that she went crazy
And that seems well, apropos
My professor just tosses back his head
And a dry Manhattan
I’m wondering which will him quicker
The big apple or the liquor
When suddenly I panic
And I tell myself I must get someplace
Calm

I up and run toward Penn station like I swear my head was ready to blow
And I hop a train to Jersey
Just as fast as any person can go
Then 90 minutes out
I get off at some provincial hamlet I’ve never heard of
There’s a real estate office right on the block
I can afford a two bedroom
I go into shock
I think, what the heck
I write a check
Cause there’s sunlight, and closets, and laundry
But mostly it’s calm
Calm
Calm
Calm
Calm
Really calm
Strangely calm
Like times square at five A.M. calm
Like totally freak me out calm
Like I’m gonna slowly go crazy and throw myself over the balcony calm

Damn it

So
I tear up my deposit
And I head back to Penn station
But of course the subway’s broken
So I walk four miles home
And like 14 hours later
I get back to my apartment
With my crazy spastic roommates
And a room ,well, of my own
I’ve got this black and white poster on my wall
that says “my Manhattan”
And I give it the finger
But I let my gaze linger
And I notice how the people look like tiny specks of grey
All haphazardly arranged just like they were in that Monet
And suddenly I'm struck with this bizarro revelation
That like, Warren's whacked out theory might deserve some exploration.
I sit on my bed
And I realize I’m finally
calm

[Thanks to Anita for lyrics]

[Thanks to Ruby for corrections]