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JACKIE

 
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JACKIE And if one day I should become

A singer with a Spanish bum



Who sings for women of great virtue

I'd sing to them with a guitar

I borrowed from coffee bar

Well, what you don't know doesn't hurt you

My name would be Antonio

And all my bridges I would burn

And if I gave them some they'd know

I expect something in return

I'd have to get drunk every night

To talk about virility

With some old grandmother who might

Be decked out like a Christmas tree

And tho' pink elephants I'd see

I'd sing the song they sang to me

About the time they called me Jackie

If I could be for only an hour

If I could be for an hour every day

If I could be for just one little hour

Cute, cute, cute in a stupid-ass way

And if I joined the social whirl

Became procurer of young girls

Then I would have my own bordellos

My record would be number one

And I'd sell records by the ton

All sung by many other fellows

My name would then be handsome Jack

And I'd sell boats of opium

Whiskey that came from Twickenham

Authentic queers and phony virgins

I'd have a bank on every finger

A finger in every country

And every country ruled by me

I still know where I'd want to be

Locked up inside my opium den

Surrounded by some Chinamen

I'd sing the song that I sang then

About the time they called me Jackie

If I could be for only an hour

If I could be for an hour every day

If I could be for just one little hour

Cute, cute, cute in a stupid-ass way

Now tell me wouldn't it be nice

That if one day in Paradise

I sang for all the ladies up there

And they would sing along with me

We'd be so happy there to be

'Cause down below is really nowhere

My name would then be Jupiter

And I would know where I was going

And then I would become all knowing

With my beard so long and flowing

If I became deaf dumb and blind

Because I pitied all mankind

And broke my heart to make things right

I know that every single night

when my angelic work was through

The angels and the devil too

Would sing my childhood song to me

About the time they called me Jackie

If I could be for only an hour

If I could be for an hour every day

If I could be for just one little hour

Cute, cute, cute in a stupid-ass way
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