Mel Brooks and Marlo Thomas, Boy Meets Girl Lyrics from "Free To Be You and Me"
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Boy Meets Girl Lyrics
by Mel Brooks and Marlo Thomas. From Free To Be You and Me
Boy Meets Girl by Mel Brooks and Marlo Thomas
Boy: Iím a baby!
Girl: What do you think I am, a loaf of bread?
Boy: You could be, what do I know, Iím just born Iím a baby I donít even know if Iím under a tree or in the hospital or
what Iím just so glad to be here.
Girl: Well, Iím a baby, too.
Boy: Have it your way, I donít want to fight about it.
Girl: What, are you scared?
Boy: Yes, I am. Iím a little scared. Iíll tell you why, see I donít know if Iím a boy or a girl yet.
Girl: Whatís that got to do with it?
Boy: Well, if Iím a girl and youíre a boy you could beat me up, you think I want to lose a tooth my first day alive?
Girl: Whatís a tooth?
Boy: Search me! Iím just born, Iím a baby, I donít know nothiní yet!
Girl: You think youíre a girl?
Boy: I donít know, I might be. I think I am, Iíve never been anything before, let me see, let me take a little look
aroundÖhmmm, cute feet, small, daintyÖyep, yep! Iím a girl, thatís it! Girl time.
Girl: Well what do you think I am?
Boy: You? Thatís easy, youíre a boy.
Girl: You sure?
Boy: Of course Iím sure, Iím alive already four or five minutes, right? I havenít been wrong yet!
Girl: Gee, I donít feel like a boy.
Boy: Thatís because you canít see yourself!
Girl: Why, what do I look like?
Boy: Bald. Youíre bald, fella. Bald, bald, bald. Youíre bald as a ping-pong ball, are you bald.
Boy: So? Boys are bald and girls have hair.
Girl: Are you sure?
Boy: Of course Iím sure Ė whoís bald, your mother or your father?
Girl: My father.
Boy: I rest my case.
Girl: Hm. Youíre bald, too!
Boy: Youíre kidding!
Girl: No, Iím not Ė
Boy: --Donít look!
Boy: (sigh) A bald girl, yuch, disgusting!
Girl: Maybe youíre a boy and Iím a girl.
Boy: There you go again, I told you Iím a girl, I know it, I know it, Iím a girl and youíre a boy.
Girl: I think youíre wrong.
Boy: Iím never wrong, what about shaving?
Girl: What about it?
Boy: You just shaved, right?
Boy: Exactly. And you know why? Because everyoneís born with a clean shave, itís just that girls keep theirs and boys donít.
Girl: So what does that prove?
Boy: Tomorrow morning, the one that needs a shave, heís a boy.
Girl: Well, I canít wait until tomorrow morning.
Boy: See, that proves it! Girls are patient, boys are impatient!
Girl: Yeah? What else?
Boy: Can you keep a secret?
Boy: There you go, boys keep secrets, girls donít.
Girl: Mmm, go on.
Boy: Are you afraid of mice?
Boy: I am! Iím terrified of them! I hate them! Squeak, squeak, squeak! Whatta you wanna be when you grow up?
Girl: A fireman.
Boy: Whatíd I tell ya?
Girl: What about you?
Boy: A cocktail waitress! Does that prove anything to you?
Girl: Hm, you must be right.
Boy: I told you, Iím always right. Youíre the boy and Iím the girl.
Girl: I guess so. (gasp) Oh, wait! Here comes the nurse to change our diapers.
Boy: About time, too, I have never been so uncomfortable in my life.
Girl: Hey! Look at that!
Girl: You see that? I am a girl! And youíre a boy!
Boy: Hey, it sure looks like it.
Girl: What do you think of that?
Boy: I canít understand it.
Girl: Well, it sure goes to show yaÖ
Girl: You canít judge a book by itís cover.
Boy: (Laughs) What does that mean?
Girl: How should I know, Iím only a baby.
Boy: So am I. Goo.
[Thanks to Gabriella for lyrics]
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