, Hapgood's Arrival Lyrics from "Anyone Can Whistle" |
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Hapgood's Arrival Lyricsby . From Anyone Can Whistle Hapgood's Arrival by NARRATOR: Comptroller Schub is trying to sort out the confusion of Cookies and Pilgrims at the Miracle Rock when there is a clap of thunder, several flashes of lightning and - yes - a trumpet call. Our hero has arrived: J. Bowden Hapgood. HAPGOOD: Excuse me, but could you direct me to the Cookie Jar? SCHUB: What for? There's nobody there, they're all here. Now doctor, here's our problem in a nutshell. CORA: Oh, Schub! SCHUB: We must know immediately which of the people on that line are bona fide pilgrims entitle to take our miracle waters and which are - HAPGOOD: Cookies? SCHUB: Yes. HAPGOOD: Shall we dance? SCHUB: What the hell is this? HAPGOOD: I have to think, and I think best on my feet. And I must think up a quick way to discover who is who, and what is what and make everybody - SCHUB: Yes...? HAPGOOD: Happy, Mayor? CORA: You may. But how are you going to separate them? HAPGOOD: According to the principles of logic. CORA: Logic? HAPGOOD: It's quick and easy.
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