Royal Fuckups

Royal Fuckups Lyrics

All my royal f**kups
All my royal f**kups
Don’t let stuck up folks go keeping you down
All my royal f**kups
Come on let’s get f**ked up
All my royal f**kups
Rack your Burger King crown
You gotta grow the roots if you want the tree trunks
You want a garden then you gotta pull the weeds up
Look do you want to suck seed?
Yeah I want to suck seed but f**k it planting seeds sucks
From Brooklyn to Seattle
You want the cream, squeeze the udder on the cattle
I fell off of the horse so many times I’m thinking that some mother f**ker must have spread some butter on the saddle
I’m getting battered when the ump is yelling batter up
Not jumping when the pitch is coming
But I didn’t have a cup or grab my nuts and nobody would blame me if I emptied out my bladder like a baby babbling before this battle
I tried to storm the castle
I went to court, the judge he hit me with his gavel
So would you rather be up the creek without a oar
Or have somebody beat you with the paddle?
[Hook]
They say you fail a hundred times before you really win
And then you fail a hundred more before you will again
If that’s true then I’m a diligent 1 in a million failure
I’m brilliant
I was a silly little freak
Didn’t listen when the teacher told me not to speak
So she moved me and my desk out of the classroom and I sat out in the hallway for a week
I had to yell my name for roll call (Watsky!)
I tried to take it higher like a pole vault
In time all of my problems tend to snowball
But when I fall I can’t be angry it’s my own fault
So if they throw salt, they get a shake of pepper
The bitter beginning means the victory will taste better
[Hook]