Buy My Friggin Album Bitch!

Buy My Friggin Album Bitch! Lyrics

* send corrections to the typist

[Verse 1]
Buy my CD or I'll break your f**kin' head
I got 15 hundred copies in boxes under my bed
Heard what I said, buy it, sh*t at least try it
This sh*t is dope as f**k don't make me pull your ears with pliers
Ain't no one buyin' my album it should've been platinum
At least gold, the kids don't buy my sh*t I'm gonna crack'em
My idea street promotion is drivin' through places
And peggin' promo tapes at peoples faces sayin' "buy it you homo"
A promo, what? you want free sh*t
You better pay up, I'll even take food stamps kid
If you ain't got a job, man it's cool you can rob
Still from your old man, cuz he's a fat drunken slob
And ya mom, she's blown in lonely Ville for 20
So just tell that smelly hoe you need some money buddy
I go to the stores that are selling LP's
Tell'em move some f**kin' units or I'll break your friggin knees
Emcees don't even wanna battle me now
My put my lyrics up because I started knockin' b**ches out
Interrupt rock sets from alternative bands
I snatch the mic and start beatin' till it's hurtin' my hands
Then I kick my wicked flows until the cops are called
I'll throw a bar stool and start a bar room brawl
As I run out the door, just before I jet
Don't forget to buy my album on CD or cassette

[Chorus]
I'm a dope emcee but a sh*tty self promoter
I'll sign a contract for a hoagie and soda
I'ma use force like as if my name was Yoda
Buy my sh*t quick man just do what I told ya
Can't work for a living gotta eat off this
Plus I gotta crib, and a wife, and a kid
I'ma shove in your face till you purchase it
Just buy my friggin album b**ch!

[Verse 2]
Don't be a cheap f**k it's just 11.99
And it's worth it, I ain't sayin' that because it's mine
If it's whack, don't even think you'll get your money back
You and your boys can make fun of it, yo I like it when you crack
Take a bat, and use the thing for batting practice man smash it
I don't give a f**k man f**kin' bash it you can have it
I really don't care man just purchase the sh*t
I really don't feel like havin' to hurt you b**ch
But I will, so find a way to cop my sh*t quick
Before I find you first, and beat 'cha fat ass wit a stick
Go on Carson Daily's show and request my video
"You ain't got one" I know, just f**kin' do it yo
The radio don't play me and I got no distribution
Ima walk into Land Speed and just start shootin'
I can't sell cds even in my own city
Ima change my name to Q stiggy and start actin' jiggy
I got promo posters as wall paper in my crib
And I wonder why no one's ever heard of my sh*t
If I went out and promoted I could probably sell a record
But instead I'll just sit and scratch myself, hey yo check it

[Chorus]

If you don't go out and buy my cd
I'm gonna f**kin' kick your ass
I ain't even playin' wit 'chu
I am literally gonna knock you the f**k out
If you don't go out and buy the sh*t
Just f**kin' buy it man
You can afford it
What the f**k is wrong wit 'chu?
It's a f**kin' dope album man just pick it up
What 'chu mean you never heard of me?
It doesn't matter if you never heard of me
I'm f**kin' tellin' you now just buy the sh*t, what?