Classifieds by Bob Mould
Look through the classifieds, maybe I'll find a friend who cares
(Decent and true, but my interests are few)
How would I reply? Start with "I've never done this before"
And all the chains that bind, you might find they're just threads that float around
It's fun to fantasize through someone else's eyes
Every week, I read the advertisements from start to end
(Stable, mature, but a little unsure)
What I am I looking for? #340's in here again
Like the characters portrayed in a play no one ever stops to read
I have to say that this all seems strange to me
It's not that different from my life
Condense it down into five lines
Now I know the reason why these ads all look alike
How can anyone describe who they are in a page or less?
(Desperately looking for someone, I guess)
But when the morning comes, both of you will be scratching your heads
In the aftermath, head to the bathroom to straighten up and then
You realize you forgot your toothbrush again
And what you saw in those five lines:
Did it materialize?
Now you know the reason why that one's in there every time
Look through the classifieds
Who's in the classifieds?
I'm through with the classifieds