The amazing willy wanker

The amazing willy wanker Lyrics

When I was just a little wee lad
I hopped on the lap of me dear old Dad,
Something sharp done poked me good,
Dadsy said, "Just me morning wood"

Little tin soldiers marchin' by,
Sergeant Major unzips his fly
Pulls his weapon from his camouflage pants,
Slaps away till it starts to dance,

Shooting Stars above my bed
Changing colors of my mushroom head,
Rainbow jizz flies across the room,
Little white spermies meet their doom,

Ahhhh, the amazing Willy Wanker
Ahhhh, the amazing Willy Wanker
And me scrotum sacky says la la la la la la tickle me

Little green men from outer space,
Here to exterminate the human race,
Drop their ray guns, retreat to their ship
When marshmallow sauce squirts from me tip

Like a knight of old in Camelot,
The goo takes off like an arrow shot,
Guinevere drops to her knees and begs,
For the spittin' dragon 'tween me legs

Using my dink for what it's for,
Gentle knock upon me door,
Mumsy drops her cup of tea,
When she sees my wang standing tall and free,

Ahhhh, the one and only Willy Wanker
Ahhhh, here comes Willy Wanker
And me marble sacky says la la la la la la tickle me

Raspberry scones and marmalade,
Squeezing my squid in the evening shade,
Visions of mermaids in the sky,
Shooting my load in me own left eye

Gramps was a hero in the first World War,
But he ain't got no dick no more,
Comes home snookered from the corner pub,
Makes poor old Gramsy kiss his nub

The world spins 'round like a big bass drum,
Nana pops a pinkie in the General's bum,
The Irish dance and the Scotchmen howl,
Time to clean up with the washroom towel

Ahhhh, yeah, it's only Willy Wanker, yeah,
Ahhhhhhhhh, the lonely Willy Wanker
And me wrinkle sacky says la la la la la la tickle me