Dorsal horn concerto
Adam Kay Lyrics
Dorsal horn concerto Lyrics
Dorsal horn concerto by Adam Kay
Embolus, embryo, eczema, cheyne-stokes;
Empathy, apathy, atopy, allergy, autism, autopsy, arthroscopes.
Infarction, infection, induction, injection;
Inspection, palpation, phlebotomy, mumps;
Bicuspid, bipolar, bigeminy, biceps, teratogenic, testicular lumps.
You must say things like dysdiadakokinesia;
You can
Otherwise they
So you use Latin words instead;
So the buggers will never discover the meaning behind all the stuff that you said.
Neurosis, necrosis, osmosis, psychosis;
Intestinal, inguinal, cystic fibrosis;
Lordosis, kyphosis, PE, halitosis;
And leptospirosis;
Aortic stenosis.
Dyspepsia, dyslexia, dementia, depression;
Paralysis, parasite, pleura, pellagra;
Angina, andrology, antidote, antigen;
Ventricle, vertigo, vomit, Viagra.
You must say things like micturate, defecate, intercourse;
You can
Although they
Although it
You have to use the Latin name.
Like haematuria and steatorrhea;
Cachexic and splenic;
Iatrogenic.
But on the other hand if they understand the phrases that you say;
Just confuse and bemuse by using eponymous names;
Like Hunters and Ehlers-Danlos, Hurlers and Turners and Brown-Sequard.
And if they understand that, acronyms are twice as hard;
You need a BCG, ECG, ECT, EEG, PET, CBT, HRT
Haematocrit, Haemorrhage, Haemorrhoids, Heparin;
Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease, Gross Heamatemesis;
Maxilla, Axilla;
Macular, Papular;
Spatula, Scapula;
Spermatogenesis.
Avoid saying nutcase and mental and lunatic, fruitcake and screwy and mad;
Terms like bipolar and frank schizophrenia tend not to go down so bad.
So these are the words that are used;
But surgeons of course are excused;
We can
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