All the Men in My Life

All the Men in My Life Lyrics

All the Men in My Life Song Lyrics

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ANNIE
All the men in my life keep getting killed by Candarian demons

ASH
All the men in your life keep getting killed by Candarian demons?

ANNIE
First there was Ed, a really nice guy.
Didn't talk too much, but I didn't mind.
I was all set to marry him
But before we could consummate, Ed was killed by
A Candarian demon.

GUYS
Candarian demon, Candarian demon, Candarian demon

ANNIE
Then it was daddy

GUYS
Daddy

ANNIE
Who I could count on.

GUYS
Ahh-ooh.

ANNIE
He loved to read the Necronomicon.

GUYS
Book of the dead

ANNIE
He also enjoyed

GUYS
Ahh-ooh.

ANNIE
Playing board games.

GUYS
Good, family fun!

ANNIE
But he can't sink my battleship now
Cuz dad was killed by
A Candarian demon

GUYS
Candarian demon, Candarian demon, Candarian demon

ANNIE
They say love is cruel, and I believe them.
My heart's always broken
Cuz the men in my life keep getting killed by Candarian demons!
Why?

SCOTT
I don't know!

ASH
Annie, baby, I know it seems bad now - it always does.
But I think you're exaggerating just a touch, sugar bee.
I mean, sure, your father and fiancee were killed by Candarian demons, but that's only two men, isn't it?
I mean, there's no way that all of the men in your life could have been killed by Candarian demons!

ANNIE
Oh no?
It was high school.

GUYS:
High school

ANNIE
Senior prom.

GUYS
Oh, yeah!

ANNIE
Going with my steady, Howie Brom.

GUYS
Howie Brom!

ANNIE
A perfect night

GUYS
Howie Brom?

ANNIE
Like I always dreamed

GUYS
A little girl's dream!

ANNIE
But when Stairway to Heaven began
Howe was killed by

GUYS
Damn!

ANNIE
A Candarian Demon

Guys:
Candarian demon, Candarian demon, Candarian demon

ANNIE
All my college boyfriends and my one night stands
My male co-workers and platonic gay friends

GUYS
Hey!

ANNIE
Every date I go on ends in demon bloodshed
And now that I've met you two guys, I know you'll soon be dead!

GUYS
What the f...

ANNIE
They say love is cruel

GUYS
Shoop, shoo, wah!

ANNIE
And I believe them

GUYS
Shoop, shoo, wah!

ANNIE
My heart's always broken

GUYS
Oh, oh, oh

ANNIE
Cuz the men in my life -- and I mean all the men in my life
Every single man in my life
Keeps getting killed
By Candarian demons!

ASH
Candarian demons

Scott
Oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh!

[Thanks to Granny Ruth for corrections]