The critic

The critic Lyrics

Tell it like it is...

He gets up real early on his mornin drive.
Down
to the office for his 9 to 5.
He drives a 94, 2 ton, economy car.
Loves to
tell the local bands down at the bar that he's The Critic.

Yea, I can
hook you up, I know everybody, in the business.

He flunked junior high
band he couldn't march in time.
He tried to write a song once, he couldn't
make it rhyme.
He went two or three chords on a pawn shop guitar, he just
never quite had what it took to be a star, so he's a critic.

I work for
the Gazette man...I got a real job.

He did a 5-star column on a band he
never heard.
He did a bluegrass review about an unkind word.
He thought it
was time to ask his boss for a raise, his boss said I can't even tell if
anybody's even readin your page.

Yea...

So he thought...and he
thought a little more.

He caught a young hot star headin into town, and
then he hid behind his typewriter and gunned the boy down.
Here come the
letters, the e-mails, the faxes, they raised him to 20,000 dollars after
taxes.

He's a happy critic...

He's rollin in the
dough...

Man I could do this forever...this is easy. Everybody's readin
my column!

Please don't tell my mom, that I write the music column for
the Gazette.
She still thinks I play piano down at the Cathouse.

Let's
get funky with this now boys...Play it on out.

Come on
Shannon.

There's ole Biff jumpin in.

?? is layin it
down.

Come on Shannon.

Aww yea, my man Steve.

Man my
fingers are gettin tired...y'all gonna have to hurry. This snappin
thing...wearin me out.

Hello Shannon.

Guess he's on coffee break
man.

They're gonna love you...cause they already love
me.

(Yea!)

It's the Critic.