Lyrics/song texts are property and copyright of their owners and provided for educational purposes only.
The Buffoon and the Dean of Admissions Lyrics by Sandler Adam
The Buffoon and the Dean of Admissions by Sandler Adam
Dean: "Well Michael, I would like to extend my warmest congradulations
on your upcoming graduation and I understand you are interested in
matriculating here in the fall."
Buffoon: "I got a snake, man!"
Dean: "Yes, pets are welcome here on campus. Be it the traditional dog,
or cat, or even the occasional reptile."
Buffoon: "One time I fed it some beer man! It was slithering this way
and that! It was all f**ked up!"
Dean: "I'm sure it was. Well we discourage inappropriate drinking among
both students and pets here on campus."
Buffoon: "f**kin' sh*t!"
Dean: "Yes, that's a not uncommon reaction to this policy. So tell me a
little bit more about your background."
Buffoon: "My father's a f**king a**hole, man!"
Dean: "Hmm, I see. Your feelings of rebelion are not unusual at your age
Buffoon: "My mother's a piece of sh*t too!"
Dean: "Well, I hope you can find an outlet for your hostility over the
summer so you can come to school in the fall relaxed and ready to
Buffoon: "My teacher in high school was a stupid b**ch, man! She had her
head way up her ass!"
Dean: "Well the quality of the faculty at a University such as ours far
exceeds that of a local public high school."
Buffoon: "Your secretary's a real fat b**ch, man!"
Dean: "Yes, she's tried many diets over the years with minimal success."
Buffoon: "I had diarhea last month. I had to sh*t all f**king day!"
Dean: "Uh huh, Well we all get the occasional stomach bug, never a
pleasurable experience. So have you given any thought to your choice of
Buffoon: "I've got a big f**king boner right now."
Dean: "I see. Well sexual arrousal is not uncommon during periods of
nervous tension. I do not take offense."
Buffoon: "One time I ate my neighbors sh*t!"
Dean: "That's understandable. Well, I enjoyed meeting you. We'll be
sending you our decision by the end of the month."
Buffoon: "I bet you got really hairy balls."
Dean: "Yes, it's a veritable forest down there. Bye bye."