Substitute Teacher Blues

Substitute Teacher Blues Lyrics

My calloused finger tips
Are covered with chalk.
And my hippie van sticks out like a sore thumb
In the faculty parking lot.
I sign an autograph at night time
And a bathroom pass by day.

And my skin smells like smoke
Soaked in from the night before.
And little high-school kids are laughing at the sight of me
As I walk on through the door.

I sign an autograph at night time
And a bathroom pass by day.
But as I sit there hunched over someone else’s desk,
I hang my head and whisper, and this is what I say:

I want to get the hell out of my high school.
I’m gonna scream at the top of my lungs.
No, I don’t know why your teacher is absent,
Sit down and get your work sheet done.

My skin smells like smoke
Soaked in from the night before.
And I get self-conscious looking at pretty little 16-year old girls
And trying not to look at them as they walk through the door.
I sign an autograph at night time
And I’m….starting to feel like…a pedophile by day….(ahem)

But as I sit there hunched over somebody else’s desk
I hang my head and whisper and this is what I say:

I want to get the hell out of my high school.
I’m gonna scream at the top of my lungs.
No, I don’t know why your teacher is absent,
Sit down and get your work sheet done.

I’d like to see John Mayer do this sh*t.
He’d probably run through those double doors.
Substitute teacher with the bar gigs at night time,
I guess we’ll see what all this time is for.
I guess we’ll see what all this time is for…