Bruce's Philosophers Song

Bruce's Philosophers Song Lyrics

Immanuel Kant was a real p**s-ant
who was very rarely stable
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
who could drink you under the table
David Hume could out-consume
Wilhelm Froederich Hegel
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
who was just as sloshed as Schlegel

There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya
'bout the raising of the wrist
Socrates himself was permanently p**sed

John Stewart Mill of his own free will
on half a pint of shandy was particularly ill
Plato they say could stick it away
'alf a crate of whisky every day
Aristotle Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle
Hobbes was fond of his dram
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart:
"I drink, therefore I am"

Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed
A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he's p**sed