First Redneck On The Internet Lyrics

Judd Cledus T Lyrics First Redneck On The Internet

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First Redneck On The Internet


by Judd Cledus T. Buy album CD: Other Songs 2 - W


First Redneck On The Internet: Cledus T. Judd.

Written by James Beavers, Steven Beavers and Barry Poole.
( Homesick Cowboy Music/Skronk Bonk Music.)
From "Did I Shave My Back For This?", 1998, Razor & Tie.

Well, Lordy, mercy, I's in a mess,
My wife run off with my TV set,
Didn't bother me none that she had to go,
'Cept I's gonna miss all my TV shows.

So I looked up to heaven, got down on my knees.
An' I cried: "Dear Lord, will you help me, please."
"I need a TV by tomorrow night,
"'Cos Rick Flare's involved in a talent fight."

Well I guess my tytheing finally paid off,
'Cos early next mornin' shoulda seen what I saw.
Reached in my overhorse for my inhaler,
'Cos there's a big brown box there, right in my trailer.

I used my truck keys, cut open the box,
I was hopin' for a Sony or a Microbox.
I looked at the name and thought: "Oh my gosh!
"This must be a new one called Macintosh."

Well my last TV was a whole lot wider,
But this'n here come with its own typewriter.
It had all the letters from A to Z,
I guess you just type in what you wanna see.

Well I thought I punched up: "WWF,"
But the TV Screen said World Wide Web.
Then I broke out in a cold, cold sweat:
I's the first redneck on the internet.

He was the first red neck on the internet,
A bona fide, countrified, cyber-threat.
He went on line just one time,
And now they won't forget,
The first redneck on the internet.

It was all so new, I shoulda taken my time,
But I slammed that mouse up in four-wheel drive.
Last time I did so much pointin' and clickin'
I had a .22 rifle shootin' at chickens.

Then, all of a sudden it occurred to me,
The power I had with this fancy TV.
I could get back at my ex-wife,
With the touch of a button, I could ruin her life.

So I got the number off her Mastercard,
I bought a new lift kit and four new tyres.
Then, I got on line to her bank account,
Went ahead and closed that sucker out.

I had her power and her water shut, slap, off.
The I sent an e-mail to her dead plain boss,
Lettin' him know that she told me,
She'd have his job by the end of the week.

He was the first red neck on the internet,
A bona fide, countrified, cyber-threat.
He went on line just one time,
And now they'll never forget, (Won't forget.)
The first redneck on the internet.

Now the moral of the story, as a matter of fact,
In a couple of days I got my TV back.
She said she'd like to come back, as well.
I told her to go straight to AOL.

Now, thank the Lord that the UPS,
For droppin' that box at Cledus' address.
If they ever wanna find him, it won't take long,
Type www.cledus.com

To reach the first red neck on the internet,
A bona fide, countrified, cyber-threat.
He went on line just one time,
And now they'll never forget, (Won't forget.)
He was the first red neck on the internet.
The first red neck on the internet.

Hey Buck, p'preciate your help. You ARE the man.

World Wide Web, population Four Zillion. Cy hoot



sheet music Buy Judd Cledus T sheet music
cd Buy Judd Cledus T CDs
guitar tabs Judd Cledus T guitar tabs
Album: Other Songs 2 - W Lyrics
cd Buy "Other Songs 2 - W" CD
  1. 270 somethin'
  2. A Great Day To Be A Guy
  3. A Night I Can't Remember
  4. Breath
  5. Cletus went down to florida
  6. Every Light In The House Is Blown
  7. First Redneck On The Internet
  8. Good Bye Squirrel
  9. How Do You Milk A Cow?
  10. I was country when country wasn't pop
  11. Merry christmas from the whole fam damily
  12. My Cellmate Thinks I'm Sexy
  13. My crowd
  14. New car
  15. Riding with inmate jerome
  16. Shania, I'm Broke
  17. She's Got A Butt Bigger Than The Beatles
  18. Skoal: The Grundy County Spitting Incident
  19. Where's your mommy?

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