Hotplates, four digit numbers, & the little fridge
Go back to your dormâ€¦ you got your roommates and that never works out.
That never works out. They don't want it to work outâ€¦ theyâ€¦ they want it so
it's like a Real World episode in your dorm room. (Crowd Laughs) Like I don't
understandâ€¦ like they have those compatibility tests you filled out at the
beginning of the yearâ€¦ that's such a joke that test you fill out of the
beginning of the yearâ€¦ it's like
(in character voice ::student::) Umm I like rock and rollâ€¦ I like staying out
lateâ€¦ and I love the ladies oh yea OOOO!
(As adult) Okay we've got a perfect roommate for you he's an opera major, he's
a narcoleptic and he's gay so go fight each otherâ€¦ we've got four camera angles
â€¦ that'll be perfect welcome to collegeâ€¦ go screw your self
(as student) HUH yeah that's what we say here go ahead.
(Jimmy Normally) Then you think you say okay I got Pete my buddy from high
school is coming up he's gonna be my room mate it's gonna be awesomeâ€¦No that is
never awesome it doesn't work outâ€¦ No it doesn't (Laughter) hate to tell youâ€¦
you will fight each otherâ€¦ you will just getâ€¦ you just get â€¦ I tell you why one
is they have too much dirt on youâ€¦ your friend from home has too much dirt
they'll kill you they'll crush you in an argument for no reason like you just
â€œHey man the dishes have been in the sink for two weeks man they're your dishes
are you going to clean them or what?â€?
(Roommates voice) â€œYeaâ€¦ you remember when you had crabs in sixth grade
(Crowd Laughs) LONG PAUSE
â€œNot fair to bring up my crabs.â€?