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Billericay Dickie Lyrics by Ian Dury And The Blockheads

 

Billericay Dickie by Ian Dury And The Blockheads


(spoken)
good evening i'm from Essex
in case you couldn't tell
my given name is Dickie, I come from Billericay
and I'm doing very well
had a love affair with Nina
in the back of my Cortina
a seasoned up hyena could not have been more obscener
she took me to the cleaners
and other misdemeanours
but I got right up between her
rum and her Ribena
well, you ask Joyce and Vicki
if candy-floss is sticky
I'm not a blinking thicky
I'm Billericay Dickie
and i'm doing very well
I bought a lot of brandy
when I was courting Sandy
took eight to make her randy
and all I had was shandy
another thing with Sandy
what often came in handy
was passing her a 'Mandy'
she didn't half go bandy
so you ask Joyce and Vicki
if I ever took the mickey
I'm not a flipping thicky
I'm Billericay Dickie
and I'm doing very well
I'd rendezvous with Janet
quite near the Isle of Thanet
she looked more like a gannet
she wasn't half a prannet
her mother tried to ban it
her father helped me plan it
and when I captured Janet she bruised her pomegranet
so you ask Joyce and Vicki
if i ever shaped up tricky
I'm not a blooming thicky
I'm Billericay Dickie
and I'm doing very well
you should never hold a candle if you don't know where it's been
the jackpot is in the handle on a normal fruit machine
so you ask Joyce and Vicki
who's their favourite brickie
I'm not a common thicky
I'm Billericay Dickie
and I'm doing very well
I know a lovely old toe-rag obliging and noblesse
kindly, charming shag from Shoeburyness
my given name is Dickie
I come from Billericay
I thought you'd never guess
so you ask Joyce and Vicki
a pair of squeaky chickies
I'm not a flaming thicky I'm Billericay Dickie
and I'm doing very well
oh golly, oh gosh come and lie on the couch
with a nice bit of posh from Burnham-on-Crouch
my given name is Dickie, I come from Billericay
and I ain't a sloutch
so you ask Joyce and Vicki
about Billericay Dickie
I ain't an effin' thicky
you ask Joyce and Vicki
and I'm doing very well


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