Bathroom Lyrics

Dane Cook Lyrics Bathroom

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Bathroom


by Dane Cook. Buy album CD: I Did My Best - Greatest Hits


Had to use a public restroom today... ugh.
Isn't that the worst when you have to?
Godamnit... you j walk in, right. Here's the first thing, I don't care.
Anywhere in the country you go, why when you walk into a public restroom.
Why is everything fucking wet! Right, there's puddles,
Water all over the counter. It's dripping like you're in a fucking cave.
What happened? Was there like a shaggy dog in there after a bath?
Just came in and-.
Then god forbid you have to use the stall, right.
You go in there, you sit down, you try to close the door which
Apparently Van Dam kicked in.
Why are they all broken? Who was running in the bathroom
Like I gotta shit? *pound* I can't shit with a door in front of me!
*punch*
Fucking door! I don't like being in a perfect square when I shit.
*punch*
Good. Broken. I like that. Now I can... shit.
*punch*
Door...

Then you're sitting there, right.
And then you start to read... you start reading like all the most evil
Ignorant shit ever is all around you! You just sit there.
It's not just written with pencil, it's fucking CARVED!
Who is carving on the toilet?
Who is so pissed off while they're taking a crap they're like...
*fart*
Goddamn Jews!
*fart*
UGH Blacks!
*fart*
UGH! Here's my favorite too, on the walls someone always has to write...
Mike was here. But then somebody else puts an arrow and writes
Mike is a faggot.
Like Mike is coming back to check it out...
What the fuck is this? I was here but not as a faggot!
I'm trying to make a statement here.
There's always like a girls number, always a girls number.
Is anybody ever fucking call!...
How did you meet you're wife John?... I was taking a crap...




sheet music Buy Dane Cook sheet music
cd Buy Dane Cook CDs
guitar tabs Dane Cook guitar tabs
Album: I Did My Best - Greatest Hits (2010) Lyrics
cd Buy "I Did My Best - Greatest Hits" CD
  1. Struck By A Vehicle
  2. Car Accident
  3. Car Alarm
  4. B&e
  5. Bathroom
  6. Not So Kool-aid
  7. The Friend Nobody Likes
  8. Pedophiles
  9. Creepy Guy @ Work
  10. Role Play
  11. My 1 Regret
  12. Robe
  13. My Son Optimus Prime
  14. Operation - Monopoly
  15. Benson's Animal Farm
  16. The Bk Lounge
  17. Haters
  18. I Did My Best
  19. The Nothing Fight
  20. Tw*t Swatters
  21. The Truth About Lying
  22. A Condom?
  23. W.w.y.d.i.??
  24. Someone S#!t On The Coats
  25. Umm, Helllllo?
  26. Heist / Monkey
  27. Would You Rather...
  28. Video Game Strip Club
  29. Speak 'n' Spell
  30. Let's Do This, I'm A Cashew
  31. Where's The Handle?
  32. The Atheist
  33. 50
  34. Hot Air Balloon
  35. Robot Leg
  36. Spa Music
  37. Jerking And Jilling Off

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