Traditional Stand-Up Lyrics

Bo Burnham Lyrics Traditional Stand-Up

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 A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #

Traditional Stand-Up


by Bo Burnham. Buy album CD: Words Words Words


We got a little serious there.
I think "fisting" should be called "upper-cunting",
And we're back.

Do you guys like impressions?
(Yeah.)
"Why?" That was Socrates.

Older traditional stand-up comics sometimes have problems with me
Because they think I use music and other stuff
And they think I'm a gimmick, I'm a hack, you know, I'm a gimmick comic
And they're such comedy purists, they don't think my comedy can stand on it's own.
But the truth is, I'm a comedy purist, too.
So I can do comedy without gimmicks.
I'll show you that right now.
What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch?
Names!
For those listening on the CD, I just gave birth to a dove.
I love traditional stand-up comedy, don't get me wrong.
I love it. I'm a huge fan of traditional stand-up comics.
A lot of them are my heroes.
And I want to be a traditional stand-up comic
And I've been working on some traditional stand-up material and
It's in it's infancy so, please, bare with me, go easy
But this is a bit of my traditional stand-up.

My wife, right.
We never have sex. Like, ever. Which is really funny.
Something else, I never know what she's saying.
She'll say something and I'll be like, "pft."
You know, she's constantly emasculating me
And I'm making her resent herself for getting older,
So we're looking into a divorce.
And, you know, something else that's really funny:
She can't drive. The only thing she can drive is
"Drive me crazy," and when she back talks, I hit her.




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Album: Words Words Words (2010) Lyrics
cd Buy "Words Words Words" CD
  1. A Prayer/How Do We Fix Africa?
  2. Art is Dead
  3. Back Home
  4. Binary Reality
  5. Bo Diddely
  6. Bo Diddley 1969
  7. Bo Diddley's A Gunslinger
  8. Ex-Girlfriend/Racial Humor
  9. Haikus/Sonnet/Shakespeare
  10. Hey, Bo Diddley
  11. I Can Tell
  12. I'm A Man
  13. I'm Looking For A Woman
  14. I'm Sorry
  15. Ironic
  16. Mama Don't Allow No Twistin'
  17. Men & Woman
  18. Nursery Rhyme
  19. Oh Bo
  20. Oh Bo (Studio)
  21. One Man Shows
  22. Ooh Baby
  23. Pills
  24. Quantum Mechanics
  25. Rant
  26. She's Alright
  27. Theoretical Dick Jokes
  28. Traditional Stand-Up
  29. What's Funny
  30. Who Do You Love
  31. Who May Your Lover Be
  32. Words Words Words
  33. Words, Words, Words (Studio)
  34. You Can't Judge A Book
  35. You Can't Judge A Book By Its Cover
  36. You Can't Judge A Book By The Cover

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