A Lap Dance is So Much Better Lyrics

Bloodhound Gang Lyrics A Lap Dance is So Much Better

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 A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #

A Lap Dance is So Much Better


by Bloodhound Gang. Buy album CD: Other Songs A - YOU


I was lonelier than Kunta Kinte at a Merle Haggard concert that night I
strolled on into Uncle Limpy's Hump Palace lookin' for love. It had been a
while. In fact, three hundred and sixty-five had come and went since that
midnight run haulin' hog to Shakey Town on I-10. I had picked up this
hitchhiker that was sweatin' gallons through a pair of Daisy Duke cut-offs and
one of those Fruit Of The Loom tank-tops. Well, that night I lost myself to
ruby red lips, milky white skin and baby blue eyes. Name was Russell.

Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

Well, faster than you can say, "shallow grave", this pretty little thing come
up to me and starts kneadin' my balls like hard-boiled eggs in a tube sock.
Said her name was Bambi and I said, "Well that's a coincidence darlin', ‘cause
I was just thinkin' about skinnin' you like a deer". Well she smiled, had
about as much teeth as a Jack-O-Lantern, and I went on to tell her how I would
wear her face like a mask as I do my little kooky dance. And then she
told me to shush. I guess she could sense my desperation. ‘Course, it's hard to
hide a hard-on when you're dressed like Minnie Pearl.

Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

So, Bambi's goin' on about how she can make all my fantasies come true. So I
says, "Even this one I have where Jesus Christ is jackhammering
Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart as Garth Brooks gives birth
to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on
Santa Claus's tummy-tum?" Well, ten beers, twenty minutes and thirty dollars
later I'm parkin' the beef bus in tuna town if you know what I mean. Got
to nail her back at her trailer. Heh. That rhymes. I have to admit it was even
more of a turn-on when I found out she was doin' me to buy baby
formula.

Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

Day or so had passed when I popped the clutch, gave the tranny a spin and slid
on into The Stinky Pinky Gulp N' Guzzle Big Rig Snooze-A-Stop.
There I was browsin' through the latest issue of "Throb", when I saw Bambi
starin' at me from the back of a milk carton. Well, my heart just dropped.
So, I decided to do what any good Christian would. You can not imagine how
difficult it is to hold a half gallon of moo juice and polish the
one-eyed gopher when your doin' seventy-five in an eighteen-wheeler. I never
thought missing children could be so sexy. Did I say that out loud?

Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'



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Album: Other Songs A - YOU Lyrics
cd Buy "Other Songs A - YOU" CD
  1. A Lap Dance is So Much Better
  2. A Lap Dance is So Much Better when the Stripper is Cryin
  3. A Lap Dance Is So Much Better When The...
  4. Aint Nothing But Mammals
  5. Cheese Tidbit
  6. David Song
  7. Diarrhea Runs In The Family
  8. Fire Water Burn (the Roof Is On Fire)
  9. Jackass
  10. Lift Your Head up High
  11. Live At The Apollo
  12. Neighbor Invasion
  13. Overheard In A Wawa Parking Lot
  14. Right Turn Clyde
  15. Screwing You On The Beach At Night
  16. Strictly For The Tardcore
  17. The choice is yours
  18. The Roof Is On Fire
  19. The Vagina Song
  20. Unh Tiss Unh Tiss
  21. Unh Tiss Unh Tiss Unh Tiss
  22. We Are The Knuckleheads (Banned Version)
  23. Why is Everybody Always Pickin on Me
  24. Yellow Fever
  25. You Are Pretty when Im Drunk

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