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The mayor of pu**ytown Lyrics

The mayor of pu**ytown by Adam Sandler  

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The mayor of pu**ytown Yo, it's 2004
And all you candy asses thinkin' ya'll real pussies
Ya'll ain't seen sh*t yet
And your Mayor let 'em know
Oh, yeah

Aw yeah
Guess who's back
It's the motherf**kin' pussy
With the little nutsack

Don't care about cheddar
Or the paper chase
I'm a f**kin' grown man
With zits on my face

A straight up chicken sh*t
A pansy ass punk
If I'm guarding your ass
It's an automatic slam dunk

While thugs are at the party
Bustin' all y'alls asses
I'm hiding in the corner
Wonderin' where the f**ks my glasses

Can't afford no rims
My whip's a bucket
f**kin' dick's so small
No b**ch can suck it

I don't pop nines
I got weak rhymes
Back in nine deuce
I got p**sed on ten times

I roll solo
I aint got no crew
I say please don't hit me
More than a cow says "moo"

Afraid of heights
I'm ascared of the dark
I walk an extra 3 miles
To avoid crazy f**ks in the park

Denied by the bloods
Turned down by the crips
My f**kin' auntie kicked my ass
And she got two plastic hips

When I steps to the club
Feel free to stare me down
'Cause I just got re-elected
The mayor of pussytown

When bangers hit the street
I stay home 'n' watch tv
Slumped down on the couch
So no one can see

Unless I hear somebody
Knockin' on my door
Then you'll see me crawlin'
Cross the mother f**kin' floor

I've been a f**kin' coward
Every day of my life
That's why I pretend I don't know
Everyone's banging my wife

I won't sit on the porch
I don't want no trouble
I'm more afraid of goin' out
Than the f**kin' boy in the bubble

When the sh*t goes down
I'll make a break so fast
Look like a motherf**kin'
Rocket goin' past

Searchin' for the sneakiest
Place to hide
Straight into the ladies' room
Ain't got no pride

Slippin'
Slidin'
Runnin'
Hidin'
You know damn well
It's a scooter I'm ridin'

Oh, no, here we go
Out come the glocks
I take off so fast
I pop out my socks

You're gonna f**k with me
I'll cry then run
I called the cops when i got shot
With a f**kin' squirt gun

He clams up
He shuts down his pants he almost sh*ts
He'll even look the other way
If you grab his grandma's tits

Well, I had a little poodle
But my neighbor stoled her
I'd shoot him with an ak
But the kick hurts my shoulder

I can't pop no gun
And I cant fist fight
Hell I'm afraid to take out
The f**kin' garbage at nite

I use the steps in the pool
Cause I'm terrified to dive
And don't f**k with my floaties
Deys what keepin' me alive, b**ch

Never drank remy
Never dealt crack
The one time I smoked weed
I had a panic attack

And if you're lookin' for my dick
In the men's locker room
Best bring your binoculars
With the f**kin' super zoom

No, I'm just playin'
I don't f**kin' change in there
The one time I did
Got my bush sprayed off with nair

But did I stick up for myself
No f**kin' doubt
I did what I do best
I broke the f**k out

I ain't lookin' at you
I ain't tryin' to front
It alright with me
You called my jimmy a cunt

Freakin'
Sneakin'
Crawlin'
Creepin'
When the gangs are bangin'
I'm in the basement sleepin'

I'm straight from the streets
Seen trouble in every size
And when the sh*t hits the fan
I throw on a f**kin' disguise
Fake nose fake wig fake beard
They all work pretty good
Or sometimes I just use a map and a funny accent
And pretend I got lost in the hood, motherf**ker, yeah?
Yeah, now all you coward Motherf**kers out there
Walkin' 'round with your head hangin' low
Just 'cause you ate one dick
Just know my man the Mayor had to suck off
his whole High School
Case closed

Mayor of Pussytown
Mayor of Pussytown



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