Lyrics/song texts are property and copyright of their owners and provided for educational purposes only.
Who Will Save New Jersey? Lyrics
Who Will Save New Jersey? Song Lyrics
There's a place between heaven and hell
Don't need a map, just follow the smell
A place filled with filthy air
A place full of dark despair
A place you have no prayer
A place called New Jersey
Jersey, the Garden State
Ther's an exit called the thirteen gee
Right off the turnpike where it smells just like pee
An exit no one dares get off
An exit where the children cough
An exit called Tromaville
If the pollution doesn't get you, the aroma will
Who will save New Jersey?
We're dying for some air
There’s no hope in New Jersey, Lord
Does anybody care?
Lord, does anybody care?
The story we’re about to tell you is so disturbing,
we’ve stationed a registered nurse outside in the lobby.
She is armed with a tranquilizer dart gun for those needing sedation.
She also has Xanax and Vicatin she got off the internet.
And please, for the love of God, do not turn off your cell phones.
Mm-mm, nah. You’re probably gonna wanna call your mama.
There’s no hope in New Jersey
We’re hanging by a thread
We’re choking in New Jersey
We might as well be dead
Lord, we need a favor
We need a savvy savior
I will save New Jersey
I’m Melvin Ferd the Third
Not him, Lord!
I’m here for you, New Jersey
On that you have my word
There must be a solution
To end this damn pollution
It’s time to start a global revolution
Sister, look at what has infested our town!
What is that wretchedness?
It’s waste, toxic waste!
The worst problem we ever faced
It’s sick, God, its sick
Look what it did to my measuring stick!
But where did it come from?
Look there. Across the Hudson River, what do you see?
The beautiful, conceited people of Manhattan.
Happy to use New Jersey as their toxic dumping ground!
Melvin & Sister:
Now, listen up Manhattan
We know, you’re stinking rich
Your bed sheets may be satin
But Jersey’s not your b**ch
Melvin & Sister:
Jersey’s not your b**ch!
Bless you, my son.
And don’t worry, Sister. Nothing can stop me! Oh, no. The town bullies!
God, I love New Jersey
It’s such a state of mind
Why do I love Jersey?
Probably cause I’m blind
Hey, Sarah. It’s Melvin.
Melvin, did those bullies beat you up again?
Well, it takes a brave man not to fight back. By the way, have you noticed a new smell in town?
It’s giant vats of toxic, nuclear waste! But don’t worry…
I swear I’ll save New Jersey
But how, I do not know
We need new air in Jersey
And cleaner H2O
If the pollution doesn’t get you, the aroma will
So, there you have it. There will be no intermission tonight. This show is eight hours long.
Help us win, New Jersey
Save us from this goo
cr*p, I just got scurvy
Good God, what can we do?
Damn it, we’re New Jersey
We’re drowning in the mud
Say your prayer for Jersey
Or else we’re good and f**ked
Good God, we’re good and f**ked
The garden state
[Thanks to Henrique Takimoto Jasa for lyrics]
The Toxic Avenger Musical Song List
›Who Will Save New Jersey?
›Get the Geek
›Kick Your Ass
›My Big French Boyfriend
›Thank God She's Blind
›Big Green Freak
›Choose Me, Oprah!
›Hot Toxic Love
›The Legend of the Toxic Avenger
›Evil Is Hot
›You Tore My Heart Out
›All Men Are Freaks
›A Brand New Day in New Jersey