Choose Me, Oprah! Lyrics. From Musical "The Toxic Avenger Musical"

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Choose Me, Oprah! Lyrics


by . From The Toxic Avenger Musical.


Sarah:
Move over, Anne Rice
Get out of my way, John Gresham
Go screw yourself, whoever wrote The DaVinci Code!
Thereís only one person I need to make this happenÖ

Some people say that youíre divine
So wonít you answer this prayer of mine?
I found my devotion unto thee
If youíll just put me on the TV
You and I will make a real good mix
I write the kind of books you love by chicks
And as for looks, well I ainít no slouch
Oh God, I wanna sit on your holy blessed
Your holy blessed couch

Choose me, Oprah
Use me, Oprah
Make me a person people adore
Hug me, Oprah
Love me, Oprah
Iíll be your book selling whore

Shaniquah & Diane:
Oh
Oh, whoa
Oh, whoa
Oh, whoa-oh-oh-oh

Sarah:
Shaniquah! Diane!
I wrote a memoir of inspiration
It tells the truth with fabrication
Iíll go on air and Iíll cry on cue
I can be a white Maya Angelou

Shaniquah & Diane:
Angelou!

Sarah:
Mine tells the tale of a woman in charge
Itís not too long and the words ainít large
Itís so much better than your usual crap
And I got a marketable handicap

Shaniquah & Diane:
Sheís got a marketable handicap!

Sarah:
Back me, Oprah
Hack me, Oprah
We can sell books from here to Guam
Shield me, Oprah
Dr. Phil me, Oprah
Letís kick butt on Amazon.com
Woo me, Oprah
Do me, Oprah
Show the world how much you care
Spank me, Oprah
Youíll thank me, Oprah
I wanna be a millionaire!

I said, Oprah!
Selling more and more
I said, Oprah!
Iíll be your bookselling whore
I said, Oprah!
Better than your usual crap
I said, Oprah!
Marketable handicap
I said, Oprah!
Tell the world you care
I said, Oprah!
Make me a billion
A zillion
A trillionaire!
I said, Oprah!
I said, Oprah!
I said, Oprah!
I said, Oprah!
Oprah!

[Thanks to Henrique Takimoto Jasa for lyrics]




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