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Keep It Gay

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Keep It Gay

 
The Producers Soundtrack - Musical, 2001
CD  ·  DVD  ·  Sheet music
Keep It Gay MAX:

Listen, Roger: did you get a chance yet to read Springtime for Hitler?



ROGER:

Read it? I devoured it! I for one, for instance, never realized that the Third Reich meant Germany.

MAX:

Yeah, how 'bout that? Then you'll do it?

ROGER:

Do it? Of course not.

The theatre's so obsessed

With dramas so depressed

It's hard to sell a ticket on Broadway

Shows should be more pretty

Shows should be more witty

Shows should be more...

What's the word?

LEO:

Gay?

ROGER:

Exactly!

No matter what you do on the stage

Keep it light, keep it bright, keep it gay!

Whether it's murder, mayhem or rage

Don't complain, it's a pain

Keep it gay!

CARMEN:

People want laughter when they see a show

The last thing they're after's a litany of woe

ROGER & CARMEN:

A happy ending will pep up your play...

ROGER:

Oedipus won't bomb...

CARMEN:

If he winds up with Mom!

Keep it gay!

ROGER:

Keep it gay...

ROGER & CARMEN:

Keep it gay!

MAX:

Couldn't agree with you more. And you have our blessings, Roger,

to make Springtime for Hitler just as gay as anyone could possibly want.

So, c'mon, do it for us, please.

ROGER:

No, sorry, Max, but it's simply not my cup of tea.

Still, fair is fair, perhaps I should ask my production team what they think.

This is my set designer, Bryan.

BRYAN:

Keep it glad, keep it mad, keep it gay!

ROGER:

And here's my costume designer, Kevin.

KEVIN:

Hello...

Keep it happy, keep it snappy, keep it gay!

BRYAN & KEVIN:

We're clever, creative

It's our job to see

That ev'rything's perfect for Mr. De Bris!

ROGER:

Next, Scott, my choreographer...

SCOTT:

Hi there...

ROGER:

And, ah, finally, last and least, my lighting designer, Shirley Markowitz.

SHIRLEY:

Keep it gay, keep it gay, keep it gay

LEO:

I don't think we're getting to them, Max. What do we do now?

MAX:

Watch this. Roger, listen. I think that Springtime for Hitler

would be a marvelous opportunity for you. I mean, up to now,

you've always been associated with frivolous musicals.

ROGER:

You're right. I've often felt as though I've been throwing my life away

on silly little entertainments. Deopy showgirls in gooey gowns.

Two-three-kick-turn! Turn-turn-kick-turn!

CARMEN:

Oh, Roger.

ROGER:

It's enough to make you heave. Nonetheless, sorry, Max.

I just couldn't do Springtime for Hitler

MAX:

Why not? Think of the prestige.

ROGER:

No.

MAX:

Think of the respect.

ROGER:

No, no, no.

MAX:

Think of ... the Tony!

CARMEN & THE TEAM:

Tony...Tony...Tony...Tony...Tony!

ROGER:

Ngaaaaaahhhhh!

MAX:

What's the matter?

LEO:

Is he all right?

CARMEN:

He's having a stroke...

MAX & LEO:

What?

CARMEN:

...of genius!

ROGER:

I see it! I see it! At last. The chance to do something important!

CARMEN:

Roger de Bris presents History!

ROGER:

Of course that whole second act has to be rewritten. They're losing the war? Excuse me. It's too downbeat.

CARMEN:

Roger de Bris presents History!

ROGER:

But maybe...it's a wile idea, but it just might work...

I see a line of beautiful girls

Dressed as storm troopers, each one a gem

With leather boots and whips on their hips

It's risque, dare I say, S & M!

CARMEN & THE TEAM:

Love it!

ROGER:

I see German soldiers dancing through France

Played by chorus boys in very tight pants

And wait, there's more - they win the war!

And the dances they do will be daring and new

Turn-turn-kick-turn, turn-turn-kick-turn

One-two-three-kick-turn!

Keep it sassy, keep it classy, keep it...

MAX:

That is brilliant. Brilliant! Roger, I speak for Mr. Bloom and myself

when I sawy that you are the only man in the world who can do justice

to Springtime for Hitler. Will you do it, please?

LEO:

Please.

ROGER:

Wait a minute. This is a very big decision. It might effect the course of my entire life.

I shall have to think about it...I'll do it. I'll do it!

Sabu, champagne!

ROGER, CARMEN & THE TEAM:

If at the end you want them to cheer

Keep it gay, keep it gay, keep it gay

Whether it's Hamlet, Othello or Lear

Keep it gay, keep it gay, keep it gay

CARMEN:

Comedy's joyous, a constant delight

Dramas annoy us...

ROGER & CARMEN:

...and ruin our night.

ROGER, CARMEN & THE TEAM:

So keep your Strindbergs and Ibsens at bay...

ROGER:

I'll sign...

KEVIN:

Sign...

BRYAN:

Sign...

SCOTT:

Sign...

CARMEN:

Sign...

SHIRLEY:

Sign...

MAX & LEO:

Sign...

ROGER:

Roger Elizabeth De Bris!

ALL:

Keep it gay!!
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