How wonderful to see your smiling faces again
I...I've never known such warmth, such welcome
Such loving hospitality
Get out ya quack!
And don't bring those phony remedies here again!
Go on back where you belong, jail!
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you
I sense enthusiasm
I sense loving response
And that's why I feel that this is my home away from home
I've been bringing cures from Pilgrim Heights to Provincetown
Treated rabid fever down on Queen Anne Road
Gout or gastritis, mumps or bronchitis
Bites and burns and blue abrasions, got a pill for all occasions!
Little Sipperwhissit was so nice to visit
And Scraggy-Neck is lovely to recall
Why didn't ya stay there?
But through all my trips
Good Lord there's one place
One call now, one town on my lips
Why it's...Poddamaquassy, uh, Paquamasoddy, no, no...
Passamamassy, uh, Quoddamapoddy, p...p...Passamadaddy
Uh, Quoddamapassy, uh, Passamahoddy?
Oh, I know! It's Passamashloddy!
No, it's Passamaquoddy!
Of course, that's what I meant to say
I took your drug for losing weight
And now I'm a blob!
But now that there's so much more of you to love!
I wiped out impetigo on the banks of Buttermilk
Flu is under firm control in Powderhole
Terminus potions, tablets and lotions
Major news in modern science
Step up now and join my clients
Spent the day in Buzzard's Bay
They couldn't keep me there
Even turned away from Kingdom Hall
My hair was grey and thanks you to it turned into pink
But that colour - it's so becoming!
We're gonna wash your phony tonics right down the sink!
Wait, listen, my specialties are
Audiology, Mycology, Sarology, Teritology
Embryology, Psychology, Zoology!
And every other 'ology' you can think of!
My friends, you're not giving me a chance
I brought all these medicines back from Paris, France
I trust him!
I believe in the doc!
I'd put my life in his hands!
My friends you've seen a miracle!
And you'll see many more
People will come pouring in from land and sea!
We'll have centers for testing
Let's start investing
Keep those dimes and dollars mounting
I'll do the counting
Everyone who lives here will be strong and healthy
You'll be getting richer by the day!
Hear them acclaim us
This town will be famous
The whole wide world will look at us and say
Poddamaquassy, no, Paquamasoddy, no, no, Passamamassy
Uh, Quoddamapoddy, p...p...Passamadaddy
Quoddamaddy, Dappadaddy, Dappamossy, Quoddapossy
Quassapossa, Passaquossa, ha ha ha ha!
[Thanks to dan.smith for lyrics]
[Thanks to Dan Smith, bas for corrections]