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Poor, Unsuccessful And Fat lyrics by A New Brain Cast

 

Poor, Unsuccessful And Fat Song Lyrics


RICHARD
Time for your sponge bath
GORDON
Aw, must I?
RICHARD
Honey, I don’t wanna be here either
Poor Unsuccessful and Fat
Who would’ve thought I would end like that?
Surely, in no time, you’ll be back to normal
In your evening formal
I’ll be Poor Unsuccessful
Poor Unsuccessful and Fat
And getting older
GORDON
All right, come on
RICHARD
Hello
Plus, have you noticed I sweat?
GORDON
Hello
RICHARD
I have a list of things I regret
Don’t tell this story to little children
Cause it’s gonna scare them
How I’m Poor Unsuccessful
Poor Unsuccessful and Fat
And getting older, getting greyer
Stop me if you’ve heard this before
Cause if you’ve heard this before
Hell it’s just more of the same
GORDON
Well
RICHARD
Help me
I’m a player
Who’ll never make it, I won’t make, I won’t make it
GORDON
NO NO NO NO NO NO
RICHARD
Once I was practically thin
GORDON
OH….
RICHARD
Now I can eat like I’m Rin Tin Tin
Soon you’ll be back home
A success in training
I’ll be here complaining
That I’m Poor Unsuccessful
Poor Unsuccessful and Faaaaattttt
And getting older
GORDON
I am not successful
I am not so damn successful
RICHARD
I’m getting older
GORDON
I am not successful
I am not so damn successful
RICHARD
I’m getting older
MR. BUNGEE
You’re not successful
GORDON
I am not successful
MR. BUNGEE
You’re too old to be a failure
GORDON
I’m too old to be a failure
MR. BUNGEE
Your futures looking cloudy
GORDON
My future’s looking cloudy
MR. BUNGEE
Your sister is a whore
GORDON
My sister’s a receptionist!
MR. BUNGEE
Bet your tush you’re unsuccessful
Don’t mean to make this more stressful than it’s already become
But you’re Poor Unsuccessful and Dumb
Poor Unsuccessful and Dumb
and Untalented
Poor Unsuccessful and Dumb
and Untalented
Almost psychotically grim and untalented
That’s what we say about him he’s untalented
GORDON
HELP
[Thanks to Joe Elliott for lyrics]