So I go, lets do dinner and a flick.
So she goes, well, you certainly move quick.
So I go, well your so lovely that you make my heart just ache.
So she goes, well what movie should we do?
So I go, well that is fully up to you.
And that my friends was my one big mistake.
My movie satisfaction is mindless violent action,
Some muscle men to tussel with Stalone.
A thriller that would thrill us, with Aronold or Bruce Willis,
And lots of naked shots of Sharon Stone.
This movie here is clawing so pretty and annoying,
These flicks they make for chicks who drag their men.
I ben she gets all weepy while I get really sleepy,
No chick will ever pick the flick again.
She loves he, but he is married to a wife whose dying really slow.
He will grive so they're all happy, how beautiful, he's dutiful, that Joe!
I yearn to see a chainsaw, a phsyco with a painsaw,
How nice to see 'em slice each persons splean.
A nut job in this movie, oh boy, would that be groovy,
He'd wipe this painful tripe right off the screen.
The end is near, he's at her bedside, while he's true love waits for him, amen.
She don't look good, she's on the dead side.
And now Joe vows he'll never love again.
Well that is rather queer now, did I just feel, a tear now,
I bet its just some sweat caught in my eye.
Well that is fairly funny, my nose feels rather runny.
Good God this might sound odd but I might cry.
Oh God they're at the grave now.
And Joe is acting brave now, I'm fearful I'll be tearful any sec.
I know that she'll burn rubber, if I sit here and blubber I'm quickly growing sickly I'm a wreck.
Think of thought more whistfull, Clint Eastwood with a fistfull,
Of oozy guns and boozy broads galore.
Oh cr*p, its just not working this movie is tear jerking,
This fellow will be jello on the floor.
I gotta get a grip now,
(Women 2, Joe won't cry, he's too strong)
simply can sit now, if I close my eyes tight cause
I'm a guy, no whimprine like a puppy,
I gotta machouppy how how will I allow myself to cry.
Oh my God.
Women 2 (spoken)
Are you ok?
Man 2 (spoken)
I'm fine, allergies.
Women 2 (spoken)
I love men who aren't afraid to cry at the movies.
[Thanks to email@example.com for lyrics]