I tucked in both the boys and I put away their toys so tonight I feel the joys of being wed. I put away each smurf and the
footballs made of nerf so tonight this daddy’s turf will be his bed. I cleaned up legos and gorillas, ninja turtles and
godzillas and one large tyranasarraus rex. Now who would have guessed but soon I’ll be undressed. Im married, and im gonna
Dad! Tyler threw up in bed!
I laid out their school clothes and the leftovers I froze so I’m ready to expose my aching bust. I walked to St. Bernard,
let the cat out in the yard, so watch mommy work real hard with lots of lust. I picked up Batman, Pez and slinkies, power
rangers, trolls and Twinkies, G.I. Joes, muscles that flex. Now who would have known that soon I’ll hear me moan, I’m
married and I’m gonna have sex.
Oh there was a time when our nights were filled with passion so deep. Oh the heights we would climb but now when it’s dark,
we’d much rather sleep. But not tonight.
Mom, I’m caught in the headboard!
The cars in the garage, my libido’s growing large, and soon I will discharge my manly spell.
Dad! My lizard escaped!
I cooked dinner in the wok, I washed every shirt and sock, so tonight I’m gonna rock and roll like hell. We played with
play dough and Nintendo, we watched Gumbo to the end. Oh now it’s time for fun that’s rated “x”. We almost didn’t make it,
but soon we’ll both be naked, we’re married, we’re married, and we’re gonna have..
burning, yearning, wheezing, squeezing, gaudy, naughty, heaving, pleading, good, old-fashioned..
Mom! Dad! The lizard’s eating the guppies!!
[Thanks to nicki for lyrics]