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The Duel Lyrics

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The Duel

 
Toby, Andrew, Viola, Antonio, guards, Sebastian, Olivia Lyrics
CD  ·  DVD  ·  Sheet music

The Duel ANDREW
Here's the challenge. I warrant there's vinegar and pepper in it!

MARIA
Saucy, is it?

ANDREW
You'll see.
(sings)
"YOUTH,
WHOEVER YOU ARE,
I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU THINK YOU ARE,
BUT TAKE IT FROM ME - I KNOW YOU ARE A ROUGE!"

TOBY
Good!

ANDREW
"WHAT,
YOU MAY ASK, IS MY REASON?
DO NOT ASK - I WILL GIVE YOU NO REASON.
THIS MORNING YOU CAME TO THE LADY OLIVIA
AND WERE PREFERRED OVER ME
BUT THAT IS NOT THE REASON."

MARIA
Cleverly worded.

ANDREW
"SO,
WE WILL FIGHT TO THE DEATH.
POSSIBLY MINE, THOUGH I HOPE IT IS YOURS.
BUT IF IT IS MINE THAT IS ONLY ADDITIONAL
PROOF THAT YOU ARE, AS I'VE CALLED YOU, A ROGUE.
YOUR FRIEND,
AND SWORN ENEMY,
ANDREW AGUECHEEK."
(speaks)
What do you think?

TOBY
I think that when the gentleman reads this he'll know exactly the kind of adversary he's dealing with...

ANDREW
Go then, give it to him.

MARIA
I think, Sir Toby, it might be better if you delivered the challenge by word of mouth.

TOBY
Ah! Yes, of course.

MARIA
Here he comes now.

TOBY
Sir Andrew, wait here while Maria and I deliver the challenge. If you see him look your way,
swear a horrible oath to further frighten him.

ANDREW
No problem there. I'm a devil at swearing.

TOBY
Excellent. Wait here.
(sings)
DRAW YOUR BLADE, SIR,
FOR AN ENEMY AWAITS YOU.
HE'S THERE ACROSS THE YARD.
YOU'D BEST BE ON YOUR GUARD.

ANDREW
God...balls...you!

TOBY
DRAW YOUR BLADE, SIR,
FOR THE ENEMY BERATES YOU.

VIOLA
YOUR FRIEND MUST BE CONFUSED.
THERE'S NO ONE I'VE ABUSED.

TOBY
I'M AFRAID, SIR,
AS AN ENEMY HE HATES YOU.
WHATEVER YOU'VE DONE.
HE'S READY TO RUN YOU THROUGH.

VIOLA
I BEG YOU, SIR, TALK SENSE TO HIM.
I NEVER MEANT OFFENSE TO HIM, I SWEAR.

TOBY
WELL, I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO.
(speaks)
Maria, stay here with the young gentleman. I will try to broker a peace.

VIOLA
This is very strange. I swear, I don't even know the man.

MARIA
That's hard to believe, sir. Everyone knows him.

VIOLA
Who is he?

MARIA
HE'S A KNIGHT UNMACHED BY ANY IN ILLYRIA.
IN A FIGHT, HE'S FEARSOME AS CAN BE.
IN TEMP'RAMENT SO FURIOUS,
IN METHOD SO INJURIOUS.
I MUST ADMIT I'M CURIOUS TO SEE
WHAT HE'LL DO TO YOU.

ANDREW
Well? Does he pant and look pale?

TOBY
HE'LL ENGAGE, SIR KNIGHT,
BUT THE ENEMY IS SKILLED,
AS TALENTED WITH BLADE
AS A PALADIN BY TRADE.

ANDREW
BY THE LOOK OF THE LAD YOU WOULD THINK
HE WAS ONLY A CHILD.

TOBY
IN HIS RAGE, SIR KNIGHT,
WITH SUCH VENOM HE IS FILLED.
SO KEEN FOR THE ATTACK,
THAT I SCARCE COULD HOLD HIM BACK.

ANDREW
I WOULD NEVER HAVE MEDDLED IF SOMEONE
HAD TOLD ME THE BOY WAS SO WILD!

TOBY
THOUGH HIS AGE IS SLIGHT,
HE'S LIKE TEN O' ME COMBINED.
YOU'D BE HORRIFIED TO FIND
HOW MANY MEN HE'S KILLED.

ANDREW
THIS ALTERCATION HAS TO STOP
BEFORE THE USE OF FORCE.
SO LET HIM LET THE MATTER DROP,
I'LL LET HIM HAVE MY HORSE.

TOBY
RIGHT!
(speaks)
Maria! I have his horse into the bargain.

MARIA
And I have persuaded the youth that he is matched against the devil himself.
(sings)
HE'S AS FIERCE A FOE AS ANY IN ILLYRIA.
HE CAN PIERCE THE THICKEST ARMOR THROUGH.
THE KIND OF MAN I'D CLASSIFY
IMPOSSIBLE TO PACIFY.
SIR KNIGHT, I'D WATCH MY ASS IF I WERE YOU.

TOBY
NOTHING TO BE DONE, YOUNG MAN.
HE SAYS HE'S SURE THERE'S NO MISTAKE.

VIOLA
GOD HELP ME!
I NEVER FOUGHT IN MY LIFE.

TOBY
NOTHING TO BE DONE, SIR KNIGHT.
HE SAYS HE'LL FIGHT FOR HONOR'S SAKE.

ANDREW
GOD HELP ME!
WHY DID I EVER WANT A WIFE?

TOBY
NOTHING TO BE DONE, MY FRIENDS,
EXCEPT TO TURN AND WALK TOWARDS.
GENTLEMEN, DRAW YOUR SWORDS!

ANTONIO
I ASK YOU, SIR, TO DROP YOUR SWORD,
OR I WILL GLADLY CHOP YOUR SWORD IN TWO!

TOBY
AND WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?

ANDREW
I know the man - he's a pirate. He'll murder us all!

ANTONIO
I'M A FIEND AND FOE TO MANY IN ILLYRIA
BUT A FRIEND TO HIM IN TROUBLED TIMES.
WHAT HE'S DONE OR SAID
I'LL ANSWER IN HIS STEAD,
FOR I'VE COMMITTED FAR WORSE CRIMES.

GUARD 1
There he is!

GUARD 2
Drop your weapons!

GUARD 1
Antonio, I arrest you in the name of Duke Orsino.

ANTONIO
This comes from looking out for you. Well if I can't win my freedom with steel, it may yet be had for gold. Let me have my
purse.

VIOLA
What purse?

GUARD 1
Come, sir, away.

ANTONIO
This is no time to joke, boy.

VIOLA
I'm in earnest. I have no purse of yours. We've never met.

ANTONIO
Would you deny me? I saved your life!

VIOLA
And I am grateful to you, but I swear I have no money to give you.

GUARD 2
Enough - let's go.

ANTONIO
Oh, you treacherous boy! How I misjudged, to think that you were worthy of the risks I took on your behalf. Keep the gold
the, if you value it more than our friendship.

VIOLA
Sir Knight, I don't know what wrong I may have done you, but I hope after everything that has transpired we might let the
matter drop.

ANDREW
Gladly. And I'll be as good as my word: he's a fine mount and rides easily.

VIOLA
Excuse me?

MARIA
Come, Master Sebastian. The Countess expects you. But let me first take you to freshen yourself. You seem a bit the worse
for your exertions.

VIOLA
Thank you, madam.

ANDREW
Well, that was a fortunate turn of events.

TOBY
Fortunate for the boy, perhaps.

ANDREW
What do you mean?

TOBY
He escaped grievous injury at your hands.

ANDREW
Oh, I hardly think so.

TOBY
HE'S A KNAVE, MY FRIEND,
AND HIS COWARDICE IS CLEAR.
YOU SAW HOW HE BETRAYED
THE FRIEND WHO GAVE HIM AID.

ANDREW
That was rather un-gallant of him, but still, I wouldn't try him again.

TOBY
HE IS BRAVE, MY FRIEND,
WHEN HIS RAPIER IS NEAR.
YOU'D FIND HIM FAR LESS TOUGH
IN MANLY FISTICUFF.

ANDREW
Well, I am a devil at boxing. But I never really had a quarrel with the boy in the first place -

TOBY
NEVER CAVE, MY FRIEND.
THAT'S INDICITIVE OF FEAR.
IF YOU'VE HONOR AT ALL, YOU'LL MAKE IT A SOLEMN VOW.

ANDREW
I PROMISE I'LL GET BACK AT HIM.
JUST GIVE ME ONE MORE CRACK AT HIM SOMEHOW.

TOBY
WHAT LUCK!
I SEE HIM COMING NOW.

SEBASTIAN
Excuse me, gentlemen. I'm looking for a friend of mine who may have come this way.

ANDREW
SO, WE MEET AGAIN, YOU ROGUE.
BUT THIS TIME THE LAUGH WILL BE ON US.
- ON YOU.
NOW, WE'LL FIGHT LIKE MEN, YOU ROGUE.
AND I WILL BOLDLY STRIKE YOU THUS.

SEBASTIAN
AND I'LL REQUITE IT THUS,
AND THUS,
AND THUS,
AND THUS,
AND THUS!

TOBY
I've got him, Sir Andrew. Come, have at him!

ANDREW
No, I'll go another way with him. I'll have him arrested for assault and battery if there's any law in Illyria!

TOBY
Never mind, I'll deal with him myself. But Dear God, the boy is wiry!

OLIVIA
HOLD!
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO POOR SEBASTIAN?
- ARE YOU ALL RIGHT, MY DARLING?
GO!
OUT OF MY SIGHT BARBARIC WRETCHES!
- YOU MUSTN'T FIGHT, MY DARLING.
- I WILL ALWAYS BE THERE TO PROTECT YOU FROM NOW ON
GET YOU GONE!

SEBASTIAN
You called me Sebastian.

OLIVIA
I know it's wrong of me to be so familiar, but in the short time we've spent together, you've become very dear to me.
(sings)
COME WITH ME, SEBASTIAN,
I'LL BIND YOUR WOUNDS.
WE CAN PRETEND THAT I CAN MEND THEM WITH A KISS.
AND I WILL TRY MY BEST TO COMFORT YOU - LIKE THIS,
IF YOU WILL COME WITH ME...

SEBASTIAN
SWEET LADY, I WILL.

[Thanks to Sara for lyrics]
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