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Making Things Up Again Lyrics

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Making Things Up Again

 
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Making Things Up Again ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
And lo, the Lord said unto the Nephites:
"I know you're really depressed, what with all your... AIDS,
and everything... but there is an answer in Christ."

NABULUNGI:
You see? This book CAN help us!

ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
I just told a lie.
No, I didnt LIE...
I just used my imagination...
And it worked!

CUNNINGHAMS FATHER:
Youre making things up again, Arnold

ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
But it worked, dad!

CUNNINGHAMS FATHER:
Youre stretching the truth again,
And you know it-

JOSEPH SMITH:
Dont be a Fibbing Fran, Arnold.

ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
Joseph Smith...?

SMITH AND FATHER:
Because a lie is a lie.

ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
Its not a lie!

MORONI, MORMON, SMITH, and FATHER:
Youre making things up again, Arnold!

ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
Oh, conscience!

MORONI, MORMON, SMITH, and FATHER:
Youre taking the holy word
And adding fiction!
Be careful how you prcoeed, Arnold.
When you fib, theres a price.

MIDDALA:
Ahh, this it bullsh*t!
The story I'VE been told is that the way to cure AIDS is by sleeping with a virgin!
I'm gonna go and rape a baby!

ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
What?! Oh my-NO! You cant do that!!! NO!

MIDDALA:
Why not?!

ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
Because that is DEFINITELY against Gods will!

MIDDALA:
Says who?!
Where in that book of yours does it say ANYTHING about sleeping with a baby, huh?!
Nowhere.

ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
Uh, behold! The Lord said to the Mormon prophet Joseph Smith:
"You SHALL NOT have sex with that infant!"
LO! Joseph said: "Why not, Lord? Huh? Why not?"
And the Lord said "If you lay with an infant, you shall.... Burn in the fiery pits of Mordar!!!"

MIDDALA:
...really?

ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
Uh-uh... Uh-uh! "A baby cannot cure your illness, Joseph Smith.
I shall give unto you... a FROG! And thus,
Joesph laid with the frog, and his AIDS was no more!

UGANDANS:
Ohhhhh!

MORONI, MORMON, SMITH, and DAD:
Youre making things up again, Arnold.
Youre recklessly warping
The words of Jesus!

HOBBITS:
You cant just say what you want, Arnold!

ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
Come, on, Hobbits!

ALL:
Youre digging yourself a deep hole!

ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
Im making things up again...kind of.
But this time, its helping
A dozen people!
Its nothing so bad, because this time,
Im not committing a sin,
Just by making things up again, right?!

ALL:
NO!

NABULUNGI:
Elder Cunningham, you have to stop him!

ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
What? What is it?

NABULUGI:
Gotswana is going to cut off his daughters clitoris!

ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
Huh?!

GOTSWANA:
This is all very interesting, but women have to be circumcised if thats what the General wants!

ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
No, no, doing that to a lady is definitely against Gods will!

GOTSWANA:
How do you know?! Christ never said NOTHIN bout no clitoris!

ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
...YES! YES HE DID!
In ancient New York, three men were about to cut off a Mormon womans...clitoris.
But...right before they did, Jesus had... BOBA FETT turn em into FROGS!

GOTSWANA:
Frogs?

ASMERET:
You mean like the frogs that got f**ked by Joseph Smith?!

ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
Right! Right! Like THOSE frogs!
For a clitoris is holy amongst ALL things, said he!

MORONI, MORMON, SMITH, DAD, and HOBBITS:
Youre making things up again, Arnold.

UGANDANS:
Were learning the truth!

CHORUS:
Youre taking the holy word
And adding fiction!

UGANDANS:
The truth about God!

CHORUS:
Be careful how you proceed, Arnold.
When you fib, theres a price!

UGANDANS:
Were going to paradise!

ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
Who would have thought
I had this magic touch?
Whodve believe I could
Man up this much?
Im talking, their listening,
My stories are glistening
Im gonna save them all
With this stuff!

UGANDANS:
Ooooh- La

CHORUS:
Youre making things up again, Arnold!

UGANDANS:
Elder Cunningham!

CHORUS:
Youre making things up again, Arnold!

UGANDANS:
Holy prophet man!

CHORUS:
Youre making things up again, Arnold!

UGANDANS:
Our savior!

ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
Youre making things up again...

WIZENED OLD JEDI MASTER:
Hmmm, up again making things you are-

ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
...Arnold...
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