The Book of Mormon Cast, Making Things Up Again Lyrics from "Book of Mormon, The"
The Book of Mormon Cast, Making Things Up Again Lyrics from "Book of Mormon, The" |
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Making Things Up Again Lyricsby The Book of Mormon Cast. From Book of Mormon, The Making Things Up Again by The Book of Mormon Cast ELDER CUNNINGHAM: And lo, the Lord said unto the Nephites: "I know you're really depressed, what with all your... AIDS, and everything... but there is an answer in Christ." NABULUNGI: You see? This book CAN help us! ELDER CUNNINGHAM: I just told a lie. No, I didnt LIE... I just used my imagination... And it worked! CUNNINGHAMS FATHER: Youre making things up again, Arnold ELDER CUNNINGHAM: But it worked, dad! CUNNINGHAMS FATHER: Youre stretching the truth again, And you know it- JOSEPH SMITH: Dont be a Fibbing Fran, Arnold. ELDER CUNNINGHAM: Joseph Smith...? SMITH AND FATHER: Because a lie is a lie. ELDER CUNNINGHAM: Its not a lie! MORONI, MORMON, SMITH, and FATHER: Youre making things up again, Arnold! ELDER CUNNINGHAM: Oh, conscience! MORONI, MORMON, SMITH, and FATHER: Youre taking the holy word And adding fiction! Be careful how you prcoeed, Arnold. When you fib, theres a price. MIDDALA: Ahh, this it bullshit! The story I'VE been told is that the way to cure AIDS is by sleeping with a virgin! I'm gonna go and rape a baby! ELDER CUNNINGHAM: What?! Oh my-NO! You cant do that!!! NO! MIDDALA: Why not?! ELDER CUNNINGHAM: Because that is DEFINITELY against Gods will! MIDDALA: Says who?! Where in that book of yours does it say ANYTHING about sleeping with a baby, huh?! Nowhere. ELDER CUNNINGHAM: Uh, behold! The Lord said to the Mormon prophet Joseph Smith: "You SHALL NOT have sex with that infant!" LO! Joseph said: "Why not, Lord? Huh? Why not?" And the Lord said "If you lay with an infant, you shall.... Burn in the fiery pits of Mordar!!!" MIDDALA: ...really? ELDER CUNNINGHAM: Uh-uh... Uh-uh! "A baby cannot cure your illness, Joseph Smith. I shall give unto you... a FROG! And thus, Joesph laid with the frog, and his AIDS was no more! UGANDANS: Ohhhhh! MORONI, MORMON, SMITH, and DAD: Youre making things up again, Arnold. Youre recklessly warping The words of Jesus! HOBBITS: You cant just say what you want, Arnold! ELDER CUNNINGHAM: Come, on, Hobbits! ALL: Youre digging yourself a deep hole! ELDER CUNNINGHAM: Im making things up again...kind of. But this time, its helping A dozen people! Its nothing so bad, because this time, Im not committing a sin, Just by making things up again, right?! ALL: NO! NABULUNGI: Elder Cunningham, you have to stop him! ELDER CUNNINGHAM: What? What is it? NABULUGI: Gotswana is going to cut off his daughters clitoris! ELDER CUNNINGHAM: Huh?! GOTSWANA: This is all very interesting, but women have to be circumcised if thats what the General wants! ELDER CUNNINGHAM: No, no, doing that to a lady is definitely against Gods will! GOTSWANA: How do you know?! Christ never said NOTHIN bout no clitoris! ELDER CUNNINGHAM: ...YES! YES HE DID! In ancient New York, three men were about to cut off a Mormon womans...clitoris. But...right before they did, Jesus had... BOBA FETT turn em into FROGS! GOTSWANA: Frogs? ASMERET: You mean like the frogs that got fucked by Joseph Smith?! ELDER CUNNINGHAM: Right! Right! Like THOSE frogs! For a clitoris is holy amongst ALL things, said he! MORONI, MORMON, SMITH, DAD, and HOBBITS: Youre making things up again, Arnold. UGANDANS: Were learning the truth! CHORUS: Youre taking the holy word And adding fiction! UGANDANS: The truth about God! CHORUS: Be careful how you proceed, Arnold. When you fib, theres a price! UGANDANS: Were going to paradise! ELDER CUNNINGHAM: Who would have thought I had this magic touch? Whodve believe I could Man up this much? Im talking, their listening, My stories are glistening Im gonna save them all With this stuff! UGANDANS: Ooooh- La CHORUS: Youre making things up again, Arnold! UGANDANS: Elder Cunningham! CHORUS: Youre making things up again, Arnold! UGANDANS: Holy prophet man! CHORUS: Youre making things up again, Arnold! UGANDANS: Our savior! ELDER CUNNINGHAM: Youre making things up again... WIZENED OLD JEDI MASTER: Hmmm, up again making things you are- ELDER CUNNINGHAM: ...Arnold...
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