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Birthday, Bitch!

 

Birthday, Bitch! Song Lyrics


EVERYONE
Yeah!
NADIA
Clear a path
LUCAS
Where's the beer?
MATT
What's everybody doing here?
GUY & GIRL
Excuse us!
MATT
What's going on?
ZACH
Dude, I'm already gone
GIRL
Snooze you lose
LUCAS
What this party needs is booze!
NADIA
Oh look a card for us to sign
MATT
That's mine
NADIA
Sharing is caring
GIRL
Party's great
MATT
No keg
LUCAS
Too late
NADIA
We'll handle this...been preparing!
NADIA & GIRLS
Happy birthday Ivy, you're pretty as a girl can be
NADIA
The boys have gonorrhea, now they burn for you each time they pee
PETER
That's pretty Nadia
KYRA
She'll love that
TANYA
Really talks!
GUY
Zach
GUY
Towels
NADIA
I wrote a song!
MATT
Thanks, but no thanks
NADIA
Sing out strong
RORY
Mary Jane made some brownies, they're dope! Dig in!
MATT
Look I don't mean to be
PETER
Cool, who made these?
GIRL
Tino
GIRL
Guys I need a cup
ZACH
I might have to crash here tonight there's no way I'm going to make it home
NADIA
What the Hell, the beds still warm, cause Ivy never sleeps alone
Same receiver, different givers, throw the dog another bone!
MATT
Time to go!
LUCAS
Hell no!
MATT
Are those her...
NADIA
Panties?
KYRA
Yes indeed!
LUCAS
Guess who's horny?
GUYS & GIRLS
Yeah, agreed
NADIA
Open shop, take all you need
LUCAS
I would wear three
MATT
Look maybe I'm not being clear!
PETER
They're here!
NADIA
Pipe down!
ALAN
Quiet!
NADIA
Get off of me
MATT
What is that?!
ALL
SHUT UP!
ALL
One, two, three, four!
Happy birthday Ivy, you're the ugliest of all
You are the worst and most perverse to roam Cecilia's hallowed halls
Your mother was a hooker and your father was a di*k
He poked her in the toaster
And the pair produced a pig
Whose brain is awfully tiny
And whose ass is awfully big
Happy birthday, b**ch!
(Ivy barks)
Happy birthday, b**ch
Happy birthday, Ivy!
b**ch, b**ch, b**ch, b**ch, b**ch!
NADIA
Stupid f**king b**ch!
…sorry
MATT
Happy birthday
IVY
Matt plan the party?
MATT
Well, some of it
IVY
Thank you
MATT
She's loaded, what happened to her?
TANYA
You told me 'keep her busy'
PETER
You don't wanna play?
JASON
No…what's wrong with you?
PETER
I wish your pinata were that big
JASON
You do know those are pot brownies right?
PETER
Oops!
JASON
Wonderful!
IVY
Hey, you any good with a stick?
JASON
What have you heard?
IVY
Come help me
PETER
Yeah, well...
JASON
Gotta go, talk to you later
PETER
a**hole
IVY
Is he ok?
JASON
He's just f**ked up
IVY
Well that makes two of us
MATT
Dance with me
IVY
Ok...next song
MATT
Ok
IVY
Matt, I said next song - I'll find you
MATT
You might not…
Well you know, I was thinking maybe later…
IVY
Matt, I'm talking to 'later' (referring to Jason)
Can you fill in some blanks? Even with a guess?
Please e-mail the site, we'll edit as soon as possible...
[Thanks to li3kd00dz0r.com for lyrics]
[Thanks to Cristi for corrections]